Speak of the devil: Bob
Speak of the devil: Bob just sent me a humorous primer on the military history of France. Reproduced for your entertainment -- and historic enlightenment -- some notable excerpts:
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein."
War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
You gotta love 'em.
On a related note, blogger Evelyn writes about the current diplomatic shenanigans by les weasels: "I think that we're missing the point on this one. I think that France has been trying to self-socio-economically Darwinate for a century now, and we keep intervening." Question is: Why do we keep trying to pull them from the brink? Wouldn't it be better for us to pull a John Galt and let them freely suffer the consequences of their actions?
I don't know. Maybe.
Posted by Matt at February 12, 2003 1:22 AM
