Scenes from a mall
I don't like to go shopping. Not for clothes anyway. I've always had that crazy mad-scientist gene that shuts down all desire to primp, up to and including the choice of clothes I wear. That isn't to say I'm a freak that wishes we all would wear the same uniforms, or that I'm like Einstein, who supposedly had one "uniform" hanging in his closet (he'd just wear the same thing day after day). It just means that I take no particular pleasure in dressing myself.
I'm also the kind of guy who just doesn't understand some things. Like, for example, why there were never any sales people around in the department store today when I needed one. Or like how stores don't carry a lot of pants in my size (I'm tall), and why they don't organize them even according to size, or even according to color or style or fit.
Seriously. I spent 45 minutes going through every pair of pants at Foley's, seeing if I could find any 34-36's. I found five. And three of these weren't pleated (despite being in the pleated section). It's times like these that I wish I was about two inches shorter. There are hundreds of 34-34's. It's that extra two inches that make my shopping life difficult.
Another thing: shoes. Most of the major shoe stores don't carry them above a size 13. Convenient for 95% of the population. Not so much for this guy. I'll be getting new shoes tomorrow, all right. But I'll be doing it in Houston, at a store where carrying large shoes is just part of business. That's part of the downside of living in a middle-sized city -- it's not big enough for a store to justify keeping the high-end sizes in stock. Special ordering: fine. But damnit, I really just want to get some damn pants and some damn shoes without having to place an order. (Same goes for hats. They cut them off at 7 1/2. I wear a 7 3/4.)
So speaking of malls, I'll provide you with some highlights of my day.
- The AC was out on the second floor of Barton Creek mall. It was 100 degrees in Austin today -- you do the math and guess how hot it was. All I can say is that it was like a Mexican indoor market up there. (If you've ever been to one, say, in San Antonio, you know what I mean -- they're hot and crowded, not the kind of thing you expect when you head out for the mall.) People were sweating and fanning themselves all over the place.
- How is it that some people seem to know everyone in the mall? I was walking behind some guy and his friend -- they said hey to every other person that passed. "What's up Roy?" "Hey man." "LeBron!" Likable guys.
- Worst salesperson ever: "Hey, I'm looking for some of these, maybe in a 34-36, do you know where I might find them?" "Um... You might try looking around... I think we have some somewhere." "Great. Thanks."
- Worst dressed salesperson ever: Baggy red long-sleeved knit shirt, red pajama pants, striped red and black socks, brown shoes. The reds didn't match. This guy was selling clothes. Some lady comes up to him at the counter and asks, "Hi, can we check out?" He looks around and starts walking away slowly, saying "Um... I'm really not supposed to be in this department... I'm supposed to be over there..." (he points to another section of the men's department). "Um, I guess you can follow me and I'll get you set up and stuff." Pajama pants. I'm guessing his manager is just jumping at even the remotest opportunity to fire the guy.
And finally, I'm heading out of town tomorrow and won't be back for about 16 days. About. (I get back on the 28th.) I'm heading to Europe for a big family vacation -- there'll be 19 of us going; it should be interesting. I'll take pictures, and I'll maybe have some sort of full report for you when I return.
But until then... Arrevederci. Ciao. Au revoir. Hasta luego. And by the time I get back, I might know how to say goodbye in Greek and Arabic. We shall see. Stay tuned!
Oh! And finally: we got some ads set up on iComix.com. They're paying us per click -- so if you happen to hop on over to iComix, be sure to visit our advertisers. It sure ain't paying the rent right now, but it would be great to get some of the site's costs paid for. No pressure. But, you know. If you happen to click on over. And happen to see one of those ads that interests you. You know. If your interest level happens to be adjusted so that you're interested in about anything, I don't have a problem with that. Wha--? Aieeee!!! (Matt jumps out the window.) Later.
Posted by Matt at July 12, 2003 10:59 PM
