Posting slowed momentarily
Hey guys --
Sorry about the lack of posts yesterday. There's been a death in my family, so my priorities are rearranged for a couple of days.
I would like say something about it though. Click on ahead if you care to read it.
You cannot live recklessly indefinitely. You put yourself in a state of reduced awareness and reduced faculties all the time, and you're bound to get hurt eventually.
You would never, ever, ever, ever, ever -- ever -- see this coming, even if you'd been warned.
But it happens. And it hurts the people who love you. And there's just nothing you can say or do about it once it's happened, because maybe you might not have had a fighting chance at all. It's just the blink of an eye, and it's over. No more opportunity to tell her you love her. No more opportunity to make anything else. What's done is done, and there is no more.
I'm sad about this because my best friend wanted to help him so much, but I think he ultimately didn't want to help himself. He was so afraid to admit how sick he was, so afraid he'd lose her. No one could say he was doing anything stupid -- no one could say he deserved it. But it was the kind of thing, that had he been sober, he might have had just a couple of seconds of better response time. And he might have kept his balance better. And he might be alive today, and I would have had my meeting with him this morning (I was designing his website), and he would have gone on living and doing what he loved to do.
And there was no one anything could have done to prevent it from happening. It was a freak accident, and it's left behind a wide, dark, sad hole where a guy used to be. There's no one to blame. It's just sad and there's nothing anyone can do.
Guys, be honest with yourselves. Be honest with each other. It doesn't do any good at all to put up a front, that you're stronger than you are. Be aware enough to know that your life does matter, and that if you were gone, there would be people who would be crushed by your loss. If you need help, you have to say so. You have to get it before you accidentally slip off the edge.
Posted by Matt at November 20, 2004 3:51 PM
